Starring Frank Langella, Dolph Lungren, Jon Cypher, Chelsea Field

Directed by Gary Goddard

As Eternia falls to Skeletor (Frank Langella), He-Man (Dolph Lundhren), Man-At-Arms (Jon Cypher) and Teela (Chelsea Field) flee with the help of Thurian inventor Gwildor (Billy Barty). Gwildor developed the Cosmic Key, the weapon Skeletor used to conquer the world. Gwildor uses the Key to open a random portal to somewhere in the universe and lands them in California. Musician Kevin Corrigam (Robert Duncan McNeill) and his orphaned girlfriend Julie (Courtney Cox), find it. But Skeletor is not far behind…

Oh this has aged like cheese in the best of ways. Lundgren’s original accent is still very much present, a lot of the fights are carefully shot to be as non-threatening as possible and Skeletor’s henchmen are graduates of the Cackle’n’Die School of Villainous Arts. Future Friends star Cox does well with a non-existent role and future Starfleet’s finest (not you, Locarno, the other chap), McNeill has surprising edge as the charmingly self-centred Kevin. Their arc is basically to react to what’s going on around them but they do well. Likewise, the late great James Tolkan, the small bald, furious patron saint of ’80s movies, playing a cop who’s wandered in from a much more grounded film and is not happy about it. But Langella’s Skeletor and Meg Foster’s Evil-Lyn, win the movie if not the story. The former is a preening, Rik Mayall-esque monster whose closing fight under a mass of improbable armour is enormous fun. The latter is the only adult on Eternia, endlessly competent, endlessly tired and getting just a little snappy with her boss as time goes on.

It’s loud, it’s cheesy, and honestly, it’s really good fun and has a surprisingly kind heart. Billy Barty’s Gwildor is a great Orko stand-in and lands the movie’s one big emotional beat right at the end very well (don’t worry you’ll know what it is the second Julie mentions her parents dying in a plane crash). Field and Cypher are great too and my favourite moment in the whole thing is them excitedly helping Gwildor build something using the pieces of exciting science fiction technology they have on their magnificently ’80s costumes. Actually, that’s a lie, the fact a keytar saves the universe is my favourite part.

Verdict: Goofy, weird, somehow both overlong and too short and so 1980s, this is a blast if you’re in the right mindset. 7/10

Alasdair Stuart

 

Masters of the Universe 1986 is streaming on ITVX now.