Reel 2 Reel Films, out now

A young couple relocate to a remote home in Ireland where they discover a former occupant’s enchanted past.

It always feels mean giving a British horror film any sort of kicking, as the production of homegrown genre material is to be applauded, but writer/producer/director Tharun Mohan’s horror fantasy has so little going for it that it really can’t be recommended unless you derive some pleasure from its uneven pace and desire to dig up and recycle every horror trope in the book.

Writer Lisa (Amelia Eve, The Haunting of Bly Manor) and entrepreneur David (Cyril Blake) have a bizarre relationship whereby most of what they say is cliche or an exposition dump. You never believe that there’s any chemistry between these mismatched souls, the latter irritatingly having to conclude every sentence with ‘babe’. All too soon there’s a dirty priest on the periphery (he looks like he’s wandered in from Father Ted) and flies are buzzing around (Amityville Horror this ain’t). Characters like a historian and barmaid are clumsily dropped into the narrative to progress the plot by artificial means, and then we start the flashbacks to old Ireland, witchcraft, changelings and fairy magic.

Lisa gets possessed – we can tell this because she eats food in a funny way and moves erratically – and when something scary is going to happen, the violins start screeching. Imagine a bad episode of Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense (not the superior Hammer House of Horror) and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what to expect from this tepid and derivative mess.

Verdict: You’re on your own with this one. I didn’t believe they made films like this any more, and I genuinely have no idea who this will appeal to. 3/10

Nick Joy