Phoenix Theatre, London

William Peter Blatty’s classic horror tale of possession arrives on the West End stage with expectations of spinning heads, green vomit and levitation.

Anyone putting on a straight stage version of The Exorcist really has an uphill struggle in front of them. We can blame films like Scary Movie 2 and Repossessed for highlighting and exaggerating just how ludicrous a foul-mouthed, vomit-spewing child is, which means that any time the facade drops, sniggers will follow.

John Pielmeier has adapted William Peter Blatty’s original novel rather than the movie’s screenplay, presenting it as a tight ninety minutes, and ex(or)cising anything that might slow things down. Jenny Seagrove plays the Ellen Burstyn role of mother Chris MacNeil, trying to rescue daughter Regan (an excellent Clare Louise Connolly) from the possession of demon Pazuzu (a spooky pre-record by Ian McKellen). Priests Merrin and Karras are played respectively by genre stalwart Peter Bowles and Adam Garcia, and as the play progresses you’re impatiently waiting for the final scene when all hell is literally Iet loose.

The modular set is ambitious, at different times representing a gym, bar, burial dig in Iraq or a church. Regan’s bedroom is the focus of the production, the place where the head turns (very effective) and the bed bounces. Impressive projection makes the wallpaper ripple, writing appear on the wall and shadows sneak across. There’s also some clever sleight of hand where characters disappear through one door and immediately appear elsewhere across the stage.

This is all really promising, but now the kicker – it just isn’t scary, while accepting that an old lag like me does have a high scare threshold. The play starts with the theatre plunging into darkness and some audience members scream – the nervous laughter continues as Regan becomes more outrageous, speaking the unspeakable and doing bad things with a crucifix. And then there’s more of a scoff rather than a whimper because it’s all so serious while ridiculous at the same time. Everyone is doing their best to sell this to the audience, and during the interval (which has been re-introduced since the play has been running) I heard some people saying how scary it was. But I don’t think it is.

Verdict: A brave attempt to present Blatty’s horror classic in a new medium, but 40 years of parodies has reduced the terrifying premise to a little girl in a nightie and a fright wig. Hysterical, but not how they’d like it. 6/10

Nick Joy

You can read our interview with stars Jenny Seagrove and Adam Garcia here as well as our chat with stage illusionist Ben Hart here

The Exorcist is playing at The Phoenix Theatre until 10 March 2018.