Starring Dan O’Reilly, Lauren Socha, Danielle Harold, Stu Bennett and Steven Berkoff

Directed by Christian James

Altitude Films, out on DVD and download July 30

After lovable rogue Jimmy Ragsdale starts a fight in a nightclub he’s held in custody for the weekend at one of Her Majesty’s more exclusive prisons, which also happens to be a nest for vampires.

The three biggest selling points for this fun horror comedy might be its lead stars, but arguably it’s that greatest asset in a property – location, location, location, as by filming in a real, deserted prison the movie gains a genuine sense of verisimilitude.

Made for a small budget and with ambitions that were probably more home viewing than big screen, Christian James follows up his toilet cubicle zomedy Stalled with a knowing 84 minutes that achieve exactly what they set out to do – to entertain on a broad canvas. With characters like Ms Renfield (a terrifying Lauren Socha) and a lead surely named as a nod to Fright Night’s William Ragsdale, you soon realise it’s that sort of film; It wears its influences on its sleeve and is more than happy to share them with you. Dan Palmer, Nick Nevern and Dan O’Reilly’s script has callbacks to everything from The Evil Dead series, to Vamp, the aforementioned Fright Night, Alien, Aliens… fill your boots. And you’ll probably need boots, as there’s buckets full of blood – gallons of the stuff come into play whenever one of the undead is staked.

The movie’s lead is played by Dan O’Reilly (aka controversy-courting persona Dapper Laughs) and when I met him on set (read the full set visit report here) he told me that he was keen to use this role to distance himself from that other character. And I think in a large respect he succeeds, Jimmy going through some major redemption and humiliation by the end. True, he begins as a laddy gobshite who gets everything he deserves, but once you cut through the bravado you gain a better sense of the real person. EastEnders’ Danielle Harold plays Jimmy’s former beau (and now prison doctor) Katie Makepeace, and while I was initially disappointed to see her tied up at the end in readiness for a lurid ceremony, she creates her own escape and is far stronger than her male counterparts.

WWE star Stu Bennett has great fun with his towering Russian, Victor Stanczyck, adding some muscle and firepower when all hell is literally let loose, and Steven Berkoff as the governor (and head vampire) is… pure bonkers Steven Berkoff, figuratively chewing up the scenery in his Gothic office with some gnarly fangs. And spare a thought for the poor inmate who dives through a shotgun hole in a dinner lady’s torso before being immolated on a hob!

Back to the location – HMP Kingston in Portsmouth – and it’s the sort of set that a far healthier budget would struggle to secure. The middle act follows the team as they navigate the corridors, cells and showers of the prison after the vampires have revealed themselves, and there’s some very effective use of lighting as members of the party are picked off. It feels (and was!) freezing cold, the scale of the Victorian building adding a sense of scale to the uneasy dread among the quips.

Not all the jokes land (what exactly is a cranny?) but there’s an undercurrent of good humour that bounces the movie along and distinguishes it from duds like Lesbian Vampire Killers. The 18 certificate feels a little harsh considering what you get away with in a 15 nowadays, though maybe a skull getting caved in was one gory gag too far. I anticipate that the filmmakers will use this rating as a badge of honour.

Verdict: Not the disposable straight-to-video fare that you might have anticipated, there’s too much love and craft (and a little Lovecraft?) in this throwback to 80s horror videos. Imagine picking up the oversized VHS rental box from your corner shop and watching this with some Stuart Gordon or Charles Band cassettes and you might just have a blast. It’s Porridge with pointy teeth… and I did mention the blood, didn’t I? 7/10

Nick Joy