The only thing more dangerous than war is wargaming. Starll (Dan Starkey) and Alatazar (Shai Matheson) clash on the field of tiny battle and harsh words are exchanged. Actually, harsh word is exchanged. War is about to jump off the table and into the galaxy, and the only thing standing between Bernice and the solution is rhubarb.

Genre fiction is rarely more fun than when it plays with language. Deep Space Nine’s ‘Babel’ is one of my all-time favourite Star Trek episodes and Pontypool is the horror movie (and stage show) I return to again and again. Unsurprisingly, ‘Rhubarb’ made me very happy. Tim Foley writes a cracking science fiction detective story and throws some extra twists in. The escalating threat of actual real, non-miniature war is nicely handled and raises some questions about just how connected the Eternity Club is to the rest of the galaxy.

It also throws some light on the competing military forces of the Doctor Who universe and gives Starkey and Matheson some gloriously snippy exchanges. Starll’s line about how every side of a Sontaran dice has the highest possible number is absolutely inspired, and really focuses the show’s slightly maniacal, slightly shabby tone to a fine (brush) point. It also gives the show added poignancy; Matheson does superb work making Altazar both fragile and convincingly alien as well as  using a single word to present whole sentences and emotional responses. Starkey will break your heart on a couple of these lines. Starll is a very sweet potato and Starkey shows us that with humour and vulnerability.  Elroy’s Derek too is a breakout here; a stoical point of calm in an increasingly weird, rhubarb-y storm in a story that successfully combines a brilliant SF conceit with some of the best comic actors working in audio drama.

Verdict: Big hearted, big brained, big fun. 9/10

Alasdair Stuart

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