Radio 4 podcast produced by Bafflegab Productions, available on BBC Sounds

Because I cannot flatter and look fair… with French nods and apish courtesy…  I must be held a rancorous enemy.

Some spoilers for the discussion

So we reach the final case update, and throughout this entire series, the reliability and credibility of the witnesses has been questioned and tested (rightly, this is an investigation) but this has crept up on me to become one of the most emotive parts of this podcast – I want to believe Shirley and Chib, I want to view their testimonies as reliable. My own belief in another plain of existence isn’t shaken at all, but what has been shaken, consistently and expertly by Danny Robins and the team behind The Battersea Poltergeist is my opinion on our main protagonists. I just can’t get a handle on my own feelings, which is most disconcerting and strangely compelling at the same time.

Pam Ashton is our new witness brought to the proverbial stand: a small child at the time of Donald’s reign of terror, she remembers her mum telling her about an ottoman that Shirley was sitting on being raised into the air and it taking 4 men to get it to the ground again. I’m struck once again by the question: what would these other witnesses have to gain by fabricating their stories? Pam’s mother, the BBC journalists? Danny reminds us that this is before a person could name their price if their tabloid-worthy story was juicy enough, and Pam echoes my thoughts from earlier in the series: what girl would want such attention? You couldn’t pay Pam enough, she says, and I’m with her there. Pam also, with utter conviction, dismisses the ‘toe clicking’ out of hand and asserts the truth of the supernatural events.

Just when I’m starting to feel myself pulled in one direction, a shocking twist in the tale will leave me reeling. The Lost Dauphin? No. I love you, Chib, but no. Danny has an expert break down the “greatest conspiracy theory of the 1800s” and while that’s a fascinating tale, it seems far too convenient. The poor French or “Franglais” as Evelyn succinctly puts it, is surely another giveaway… maybe the kind of poor knowledge of French that a schoolgirl might have? Then there’s Donald’s fascination with this ‘Jeremy’ actor chap, which is such stereotypical teenage-girl behaviour, it makes me start to think it really is our sweet Shirley after all.

WHOOSH

That’s the sound of yet another rug being pulled out from under me, as it would have been nigh on impossible for Shirley to make the markings on the wall and ceiling without waking the whole household. Oh and she can predict car crashes now can she? Blimey, my head’s spinning so much I’m getting dizzy.

Is there a mundane explanation? Is it plumbers? Is it the cold? Spores? Are they all high? As the strange noises follow firemen home, is there something in the water? Not possible, as one thing we can be certain of is that the poltergeist phenomena follow Shirley, they don’t happen without her so there has to be a link between Shirley and Donald, he must be feeding off her somehow. Oh no wait, Danny just lobbed another curveball at me. Ouch.

Verdict: The French ‘disconnection’ leaves more questions than answers… can the loose ends be tied up in the final episode? 8/10

Claire Smith