The backup water generator onboard the Atlas packs up, leaving the crew with enough water for another couple of days at most, and sending ground control into a frantic search for some sort of solution before it’s too late.

OK, nothing matters anymore. Literally, this show is making stuff up as it goes along, episode by episode. Remember when the water processor first packed up, and someone mentioned the frustration of the ship being surrounded by water to protect the astronauts from the deadly radiation of deep space and how deeply ironic it was that they couldn’t possibly get at any of it? Well, turns out now that they’re really out of water and staring slow death by dehydration in the face, the only solution involves… yeah.

Shockingly an early attempt which involves drilling a hole in the side of the spaceship proves to be not quite as successful as the crew might have hoped. So it’s on to plan B – a complicated science experiment of bodging together equipment from various bits and pieces that would be available to the crew, a la Apollo 13, which is sort of the high point of the episode before that goes wrong and then Matt comes up with an idea that is, frankly, dumb. It also relies on one of the oldest and most egregious misconceptions about deep space which persists in Hollywood to this day in spite of the best efforts of scientists everywhere. Seriously, watch this episode and then spend five seconds on Google. There’s taking liberties for dramatic effect and then there’s… this.

But it’s not just in terms of basic reality or the narrative convenience of solutions where the show is ignoring anything else that came before. Emma is once again put forward as the absolute star-spangled best astronaut ever, based as usual on people actually telling us rather than anything she’s actually done. Worse, the people selling this are now the very same crew members who, back at the start of this voyage, were saying she was unfit to lead based on one honest mistake with trying to catch some acid or other in her shirt. Now, since she has recklessly endangered herself by throwing herself into space untethered, entering the room of a highly contagious fellow crew member and giving her water rations to a plant, they all seem to think she’s the ghost of Neil Armstrong himself.

Oh, and a romance subplot that was awkwardly introduced and immediately forgotten several episodes back rears its head again here, only thanks to the appallingly unreadable acting of certain cast members now having spread to all their colleagues, I can’t honestly tell how at least one of the parties feels about it.

Back on Earth, Isaac turns up to explain why he decided to so very cruelly tell Lex they should take a break and it’s the most contrived, non-teenage boy nonsense I’ve ever heard, but because nothing matters of course Lex forgives him so they can spend some time together pondering the great philosophical mysteries of life, the universe and everything because Lex is feeling sad that her mum might die. So sad that she runs off with her boyfriend and ignores all calls that might be giving her updates on how her mum is doing. Melissa, for her part, does a sterling job of not apparently caring much while making breathy moon-eyes at Matt down the phone as she assures him that everything is under control.

Oh and don’t let that title fool you into thinking that the episode might involve Bond villains. It is a reference to a genuine space-travel incident which gets mentioned, and which unfortunately sounds far more interesting than anything which happens here.

Verdict: Thank God there’s only one more episode to go. I can’t remember the last time I felt this frustrated watching a talented, charismatic and likeable cast get completely squandered like this. 4/10

Greg D. Smith