Fabulous Films, out now

When pre-teen Daryl is taken in by foster parents they discover that the mysterious child is hiding a number of secrets, and that sinister forces are trying to capture him.

It feels somewhat appropriate that Fabulous Films’ UK Blu-Ray premiere of Simon (The Phantom) Wincer’s 1985 family movie has no extras to support it, as it’s a vanilla release for a very vanilla film. This is the very definition of safe film-making for the widest possible audience, but with absolutely nothing new to say.

Designed to meet the wish-fulfilment fantasies of youngsters, nerdy Daryl does everything that they can’t – he strikes home runs, he’s great at maths and gets top scores on primitive video games – and that’s because… (spoiler alert for a 34-year-old film) he’s a robot. Yes, Daryl is a fiendishly-clever acronym for Data-Analysing Robot Youth Life-form, though one wonders which came first, the name or the acronym?

Michael McKean is very good as the foster father, Barrett Oliver (The NeverEnding Story, Cocoon) stays on the right side of annoying as the eponymous ‘bot, and there’s even a jaunty score by the legendary composer Marvin Hamlisch (The Spy Who Loved Me), though in most other scores he does it better. The big problem is the sheer predictability of it all – you could guess the whole plot after five minutes, and you’d be right.

Verdict: Not even steeped in enough 80s ephemera to make you feel nostalgic, D.A.R.Y.L. is one of those bland kiddie pics that will test the most tolerant of children. Not bad, just formulaic and unmemorable. 6/10

Nick Joy