Starring Max Eigenmann, David Hayman, Leanne Best

Written & directed by Paris Zarcilla

Last Conker, in cinemas.

A Filipina cleaner, desperate for cash to pay for a dodgy work visa, and struggling to care for her young daughter, takes a job in a mysterious mansion, where an old man in the care of his niece lies in a coma, supposedly dying of cancer.

The set-up is superb. Joy (Max Eigenmann), and her impish daughter, Grace (Jaeden Page Boadilla), are homeless, so when she gets the offer of a well paid cash-in-hand residential position, it’s a no-brainer. The only problem is that the Filipina cleaner hasn’t told her haughty employer, Katherine (Leanne Best), that she has her little girl in tow. Dark comedy ensues as Joy smuggles the child into the spooky mansion – all dustsheets and portraits – in a large suitcase, and Grace, mischievous at the best of times, has to keep her presence concealed, becoming a sort of living poltergeist.

As she stalks the house, unseen by Mr Garrett’s arrogant niece, the little girl makes a shocking discovery. Far from caring for her unconscious uncle, Katherine has a different agenda altogether. But can the lonely, angry child enlist her mother’s help in saving the old man?

All of this is compelling stuff, but just short of the halfway point, things start to unravel badly. There’s no two ways about it, the script is a complete mess. It has lots to say, but no idea how to say it in dramatic terms. It veers from nonsensical, melodramatic horror – peppered with honking plot inconsistencies – to endless pages of dreary historical exposition, and further, to stodgy lectures on social injustice, imperialism, immigration and exploitation. It’s worthy stuff, but worthiness alone does not a decent horror movie make, especially as Raging Grace can’t decide whose story it’s telling. Astonishingly, the central character is completely absent from the movie’s idiotic climax – culminating in a toe-curling episode featuring a house full of Filipino zombies, worthy of the best/worst that Ed Wood had to offer in his prime.

To make matters worse, aside from Max Eigenman (as the hapless cleaner) the cast are uniformly wooden. Even the normally dependable David Hayman as old Mr Garrett looks embarrassed by the whole enterprise, although the truly Razzie-worthy performance comes from Leanne Best whose performance misfires bewilderingly at every turn.

Verdict: I’m rarely actively annoyed by a film – life’s too short and all that – but Raging Grace gave my hackles a run for their money. Good, original stories are hard to come by, so the writer in me can’t help gritting his teeth when a potentially compelling and important tale is squandered so ineptly.  3/10

Martin Jameson

www.ninjamarmoset.com