Starring Hunter Schafer, Dan Stevens

Written & Directed by Tilman Singer

In cinemas now.

An unhappy American teenager comes to live with her Dad in a deserted Bavarian holiday resort, but when she ignores warnings not to go out after dark, danger stalks…

I doubt I’m the only horror geek who saw the eccentric trailers for new German chiller, Cuckoo, and was drawn to it, wondering if it would live up to its name in more ways than one. In that spirit, I was happily braced for something completely barking, preferably in an enjoyably European way.

Turns out, Tilman Singer’s tale of shrieking Bavarian monstrosities is nowhere near as bonkers as I was hoping. Indeed it sets off in traditional fashion with a resentful, alienated teen, out of place in an isolated, secretive community. Gretchen (compellingly rendered by Hunter Schafer) gets a job working on reception in the spooky holiday resort, and clearly things aren’t right – and sure enough, after about 30 minutes, it all goes completely la-la.

But here’s the thing – the la-la quality of this film isn’t really anything to do with exploring the more surreal aspects of the horror psyche, rather the plot is simply incoherent. About 30 years ago, I found myself utterly baffled by a screening of the Michael Douglas movie, Falling Down, which hardly has a reputation for obliqueness, only to discover that the projectionist had omitted a whole reel… which is how I felt after an hour of Cuckoo.

Dan Stevens slithers through the movie as the oleaginous Herr König, complete with a 1960s Bond villain, Middle-European accent, but why on earth he’s evilly doing his evil doings remains a complete mystery. As monstrous evil goes, what’s truly strange is how random it is – especially when Stevens starts tootling on his recorder like David Walliams as the deranged Scottish hotel owner in BBC comedy Little Britain. Kudos to him though, for keeping a straight face.

Having said all of this, Cuckoo is oddly absorbing. Hunter Schafer attacks the character of Gretchen with such commitment and sincerity, it’s as if she has convinced herself that she is in an entirely different, far better movie, and she’s going to drag us all along with her, whether we like it or not. Ms. Schafer is destined for great things.

Verdict: I can only think there was about ten pages of script that made sense of it all, and some bright spark said ‘we don’t need all that’ – which is a shame because Cuckoo has one or two decent scares, despite the bonkers recorder playing. 5/10

Martin Jameson

www.ninjamarmoset.com