Starring Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Colin Farrell, Judi Dench, Josh Gad

Directed by Kenneth Branagh

Disney+, available now

 

Artemis Fowl, a young criminal prodigy, hunts down a secret society of fairies to find his missing father.

What on Earth went wrong here? With an A-list cast, a top director (Kenneth Branagh) and popular source material, how could the finished product be so underwhelming? Disney’s adaptation of Eoin Colfer’s popular series of Young Adult books was originally planned for a cinema release, but then COVID-19 closed the cinemas. Instead of waiting for movie houses to open again, Disney premiered the movie on its streaming service Disney+, and in all honesty, this probably saved it from the ignominy of bombing at the box office.

Condensed to a mere 95 minutes, there’s just not enough time to build Colfer’s fantasy world, introduce the characters and deliver a cohesive plot. The budget is here to be seen, with lavish set-pieces, and let’s not ignore the bill for paying the name stars – Colin Farrell, Judi Dench, Josh Gad. But ultimately it’s just too lightweight and distant. It happens in front of you rather than drawing you in, playing like one of the minor Marvel efforts by way of Harry Potter.

Ferdia Shaw and Lara McDonnell are fine as the young leads Artemis and Holly, but they are frequently upstaged by the bizarre performances of Dench and Gad, who would appear to have been told to rasp and growl their lines – think Will Arnett’s Lego Batman! On the plus side, Patrick Doyle’s score is gorgeous and the movie looks great on a high definition TV.

Verdict: Younger, undemanding fantasy fans might find this an easy way to pass 90 minutes, but we (and the book series) deserved much more. Like The Golden Compass movie, expect this to be one and out. Disappointing. 5/10

Nick Joy