Mr Colchester is on the bottom of the ocean, looking for a very important phone. Mr Colchester’s found it. In fact, he’s found every phone.

The Torchwood range has always been one of Big Finish’s labs, the places where they experiment with how to tell stories in audio. It’s also always been one of the angriest lines they have, as it should be. Children of Earth remains a highwater mark not just for Torchwood but contemporary UK drama and one of the many strings to the audio series’ bow is a continued exploration of that anger. Which brings us to Mr Colchester, and the bottom of the ocean and another postcard.

Paul Clayton’s Mr Colchester is the patron saint of exhausted, resolute contempt. He chews on language, relishing the awful things he tells us and the distance his job, and his choices, give us from that. His cheery anger tells us everything about what he does for a living, the price he pays for it and why he still does it. It also, it turns out, tells us everything we need to know even before we fully know it. Mr Colchester tells us no lies. But Mr Colchester also offers us no easy answers.

James Goss’ script gives Torchwood’s most dangerous cardigan enthusiast a stage to himself and, like its predecessor, channels so much of the seething rage we all have to constantly struggle to push to one side. Goss lays each card down at the exact moment it’s needed, folds just enough reference in for you to understand who Mr Colchester is talking about without ever making it explicit. Mr Colchester may be on the bottom of the ocean but the story is much closer to us than you think.

Verdict: Furious, funny and clear eyed, this is a postcard you can’t help but read and a welcome return to the spotlight for one of Torchwood’s finest. 10/10

Alasdair Stuart

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