By Alex Kingston

BBC Books, out now

1939, New York. River Song, author of the Melody Malone Mysteries, is forced to find a reality-altering weapon, the Eye of Horus – but everyone who comes into contact with it dies. River doesn’t believe in curses – but is she wrong?

It’s hard to believe that everyone’s favourite Stormcage resident, River Song, was last on our screen over five years ago in the 2015 Doctor Who Christmas Special The Husbands of River Song, so what a treat to have her back again in this new novel about her exploits, written by the actor who plays her, Alex Kingston.

First appearing in May 2008’s Silence in the Library, River’s written adventures continued in 2012’s The Angel’s Kiss: A Melody Malone Mystery and 2016’s The Legends of River Song. One of the stories (Suspicious Minds) in the latter collection was written by Jacqueline Rayner, featuring Madam Tussaud and the 11th Doctor. Rayner returns with this novel to help Kingston translate her story to the page, and what a story it is. A single word review would ‘fun’, and if you forced me to add a second it would be ‘romp’.

Starting with a useful ‘Here be Spoilers…’ section that introduces us to the characters in the two time zones (Dramatis Personae and Melodramatis Personae!) we alternate between River in Stormcage 5147 and the story she’s typing up about Melody Malone in New York, 1939. We met Malone of the Angel Detective Agency in Series 7’s The Angels Take Manhattan. Here she’s employed to pick up a package from a ship and serve as a decoy, but as often happens in these sort of capers, nothing goes to plan, and not everyone is who they seem.

The story flies along at speed, zinging with one-liners, and distinguishing the two time zones through not just different font typefaces, but the type of language used depending on whether it’s Melody or Song that we’re spending time with. River is such a well-developed character that we don’t miss the Doctor in this story – it’s the female archaeologist’s gig, front and centre – and you can hear Kingston’s River voice in the authentic dialogue.

You really need to know no more than this, because… spoilers, sweetie! There’s just enough fan service to give the converted a treat, though it’s not so tied up in the show’s heritage that you need an encyclopaedic knowledge of River’s prior adventures to appreciate this joyous excursion.

Verdict: Kick off your red Louboutins and put away your hallucinogenic lipstick. Just find a quiet corner and escape from the world for a terrific few hours in the company of some amazing women. 9/10

Nick Joy

Click here to order from Amazon.co.uk

Click here for our exclusive interview with Alex Kingston