A long-running TV institution enjoyed all around the world that borders on camp, features outrageous costume and set design, is oft-criticised for political bias and with a significant LBGT+ following, where will Doctor Who take us this week?

Forgive me the lazy cheap intro, but it is curious how Doctor Who and the Eurovision Song Contest, inspiration for this week’s tale from TV Who first-timer Juno Dawson, share certain commonalities. Eurovision is loathed as much as it is adored, and it’s easy to forget now that that was certainly the case with Who during its later years of the original run and throughout the wilderness years – sniffy journos in the tabloids and later the lads’ mags would take pop shots at it regularly and paint its fans as no-mates nerds who still lived with their parents and had never done any kissing.

Similarly anyone who takes Eurovision properly seriously has long been seen as rather odd. Getting pinoted up while doing your own scores at a party is fine, but heaven forbid someone actually cares about it. My old mate Jack was one of those people, he could have won Mastermind on the subject and his shelves were full of Eurovision CDs from over the years (yes, they were a thing even if they had to be imported from Europe). For him it wasn’t camp or silly, he actually liked the music for the most part and had no truck with the mickey-taking commentating of the sainted Terry Wogan (a role now filled by Graham Norton, who some may remember accidentally making his presence felt during the original broadcast of the first episode of the revived series, Rose, just over twenty years ago).

There’s a character here who makes it plain to his partner that the Interstellar Song Contest is something he cares about and is a part of who he is – disrespect it and you disrespect him. It’s a pretty on the nose statement which could just as easily apply to Who and its fans. As such the episode as a whole takes it reasonably seriously too – it’s fun, over-the-top and meant to be enjoyed by anyone who cares to embrace it. Belinda is certainly a fan, describing being allowed to stay up for Eurovision as the best night of the year. My only gripe, which is almost unavoidable, is that whenever a show does future-music it always sounds like current music (see the musical episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds for more). It’s the equivalent of the real 2025 Eurovision featuring madrigals and throat singing, it’s hard to imagine what popular music will become in the far future but it’s a shame no one really tried here as it clings to the chromatic scale.

I’m one of those people who just doesn’t get Eurovision, I don’t like much pop music anyway, but I did appreciate that there were no cheap shots here – drubbing on the things others love is a miserable way to behave. It’s no spoiler to say that the show is co-hosted by the 21st century’s beloved Rylan, revived here from cryogenic suspension. Considering the Earth is due to explode in two weeks he’d better get a move on. There are one or two other guest appearances here too – and this is where I have to stop talking about the story.

Because in the coming week no one in fandom is going to be talking about the story’s setting or themes or anything to do with song contests. We’re about to head into the two-part finale and it only feels like it’s ten minutes since we met Belinda and the Earth blew up. There’s still much to make sense of and it remains to be seen if all will be made clear as we head, if rumours are to be believed, towards the end of an era.

There’s one aspect that I do want to address, it’s been an issue before but I noticed it more this time. That’s the egregious habit of having characters verbalise everything in order to pander to those half-watching while they do the ironing/play games/chat on their phones or what have you. I must be vague but at one point a character makes a revelation that should be dramatic and moving, and it briefly is even though it’s fairly obvious, but it’s then ruined by that character saying what we’ve just discovered and another then saying out loud the physical nature of what we’d just seen. You might think it doesn’t matter but for me it turns the characters stupid and kills drama and it happens more than once here. Show not tell is a film and telly rule that can of course be broken but you need a better reason than pandering to a slice of the audience who can’t be bothered to give it their full attention. Doctor Who can’t be singled out and I certainly don’t blame Dawson (I’m guessing it’s a script editing decision); it’s infecting all TV and increasingly films, I think Netflix have even admitted they insist on it now. I’m no stranger to half-watching stuff, I often use telly in place of music if I’m on my computer, but I usually choose something I already know, sometimes even Doctor Who or my nth watch of Breaking Bad, and it’s entirely on me should I miss something important, I don’t expect to be pandered to. Please stop this horrible habit.

Largely though I did enjoy this episode very much, it’s certainly a lot of fun and has high stakes. As is so often the way with futuristic space-set adventures it all gets solved by various people pushing various buttons while delivering the sort of technobabble that would make Star Trek’s Geordi LaForge faint, but it’s reasonably satisfying nonetheless. But again, that’s not what anyone’s going to be talking about…

Verdict: Bright and colourful with a genuine affection for its subject matter and more than a few surprises to take us to the finale. Just please don’t treat us as if we’re not giving our full attention. 7/10

Andy Smith