by Marieke Nijkamp

Source Books, out now

Corey returns to Lost, Alaska, to mourn her friend and attend her funeral – but Lost has changed, and not for the better.

Before I Let Go is the second novel from this author, whose previous book – This is Where It Ends – was a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Corey’s best friend back home was the brilliant and brittle Kyra, who battled bipolar disorder. Now Kyra’s dead, she drowned in the lake, and when Corey returns home for the funeral she finds that – after a lifetime of distancing Kyra because of her disorder – the town has embraced her artistic talent as its own.  Kyra is belatedly hailed as Lost’s great hope, her art adorning almost every available surface in the town. Whether she’s in the room next to what used to be Kyra’s at her friend’s former home, or alone in the abandoned spa where Kyra lived for the last few month of her life, Corey can still feel her friend around her. Unable to confide in the townspeople, Corey can’t be sure whether she’s surrounded by memories or whether her friend has come back for her, waiting as they both promised they would.

Unlike Kyra, Corey has never felt like an outsider in Lost until now. Returning after several months, the town has changed both in its attitude to Kyra and its acceptance of her. Corey’s not one of them anymore, and her welcome is uncertain at best. As she tries to uncover the circumstances leading up to Kyra’s death, she finds herself thwarted at every turn by those she once loved, and those she’d always believed loved her. In just a few short days, she starts to feel threatened, to the point where she’s not even sure she’ll make it out of Lost alive herself.

On one level, Before I Let Go, is a mystery – why did Kyra have to die, what changed that made Lost suddenly accept her? On another level entirely it’s an exploration of small town life and a dissection of a friendship  that deals with mental illness, sexuality and acceptance. It’s a slow burn but a very absorbing read, that lets you see mystifying events from the eyes of a teenage girl who feels she’s lost everything. Corey and the other characters are well drawn, and her friendship with Kyra is gradually revealed throughout the narrative as they explore their relationship, their sexuality, and the possibilities beyond Lost, should they ever leave. Lost itself, a small town in Alaska, is vividly depicted, and a sense of alienation pervades the story.

Verdict: A story of loss, acceptance, and the plight of the outsider that will draw you in. 9/10

Marie O’Regan