‘The world is not made up of atoms, it’s made up of stories.’ 

Now, I know what you’re going to ask, especially as I’ve done a few reviews of anthology films and TV shows recently (like Books of Blood and Monsterland): what makes The Mortuary Collection so different? Is it anything new? On the contrary, this movie harks back to an earlier, simpler time of horror, in the same way Creepshow does. But that’s the joy of it really, like meeting up and saying hello to an old friend… who’s had a little bit of a facelift.

Welcome to Raven’s End Mortuary, run by Montgomery Dark (the Kurgan himself, Clancy Brown, who also produced). An odd kind of fella who claims ‘What is life, but a story? It’s not the length that counts, but the quality…’ And when young Sam (Caitlin Fisher from Teen Wolf) responds to the ‘Help Wanted’ sign outside, she’s not only shown around the spooky old place, she’s treated to various yarns about the ‘clients who have passed through’ those hallowed halls.

The first involves manipulative thief Emma (Christine Kilmer from My Crazy Ex) in the 1950s, who encounters something strange when she jimmies open a bathroom cabinet. A short sharp shock, but with a moral, something Dark insists on in a story… Which brings him to his second offering, all about ’60s college lothario Jake (Euphoria’s Jacob Elordi) who doesn’t practise what he preaches where safe sex is concerned. That’s about to backfire spectacularly when he meets new girl on campus Sandra (Ema Horvath from Don’t Look Deeper).

Then in the third tale we move on to the 1970s where husband Wendell Owens (Betch’s Barak Hardley) faces a difficult choice about his sick wife Carol (Sarah Hay from Flesh and Bone). Finally, we find out more about a corpse Dark has been hiding from Sam all the way through, when we witness the ‘The Babysitter Murders’ (actually a short director Ryan Spindell made back in 2015) which dovetails neatly into the framing device.

As I say, the enjoyment of this one is its very familiarity and the way it plays with the conventions of the anthology flick. But while the sensibilities might be old-fashioned, with ne’er-do-wells getting their comeuppance all over the shop, the way this happens feels fresh and modern, not least because of the leaps in FX technology. And there are so many nods to horror history, from Dark resembling Angus Scrimm’s Tall Man from Phantasm – who shared the same vocation – to shots Sam Raimi would have been proud of from the Evil Dead franchise, that there’s bound to be something even the most jaded of fans will relish. If I have one complaint, and that’s minor, it’s that the film should have finished two finales before it does. Probably because – Peter Jackson-style – Spindell didn’t want it to end, and you can’t blame him.

Verdict: Simply good, gory horror film fun from start to finish. ‘No evil deed goes unpunished!’ 8/10

Paul Kane